Decicions….how to make all the wrong ones!

Well todays blog is on decisions, and how I made all the wrong ones in my late teens and early twenties! To use a pretty apt qoute from one of my favourite movies and favourite characters ‘ I’ve made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I’ve pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who’s ever loved me. And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror’. Al pacino in any given sunday obviously ! Now obviously i’m not a middle aged man, unless…..no, im definitely not a middle aged man.

It all started off when I was leaving school, bright eyed and bushy tailed, I wanted to change the world so i wanted to become an energy engineer. I was going to erect wind mills in every corner of the country. I should have perhaps realised after first year when i failed most of my exams that this perhaps was not for me, but hey I passed the second time so it was easier to continue then to pack my bag and walk away. Then in second year I decided to work super hard and this time I was going to change the world, and I did work super hard, and what was my reward at the end of the year. I did my exams and high tailed it to Boston for the summer ! And what a summer ! I managed to do everything from going through the American judicial to cutting a seven inch bone deep cut in my tricep while pursuing perfection in the addictive game of ultimate frisbee .

Now I must mention in order to finance this expedition I had to borrow over two thousand euro from the local bank. Plus a maxed out credit card which occurred in a lovely little place in Brighton west Boston. But hey, I would worry about these things when i got home it was all good. When I arrived home, barely recognisable from my former self , I discovered that I had failed the very most of my engineering exams. So what to do, it was time to bite the bullet, I pulled out of college for a year and began to pay back my loans and right some of my wrongs , with the full intention of returning next year to start my career as a lawyer. And that brings me up to the present.

Now the overwhelming feeling during the end of this story was indeed depression and sadness, I felt like I had messed up, my friends were all finishing college and getting placements in samsung in germany and with BP in the north sea. And I was at home, wasting away my life wishing the time to pass quicker, wishing that every time I woke up, it would suddenly be September and I would escape this rural prison for the big city.

This kept occurring until about a month ago when i finally paid off my debts and began saving for next year. I was reading the book by Jordan Belfort, the so called wolf of wall street, after being stunned by the movie I simply had to read the book. I read a paragraph of this book that changed my outlook on my experiences, ” but everything in my life became accelerated.. I missed my twenties and thirties and went straight to my forties. There are things that happen during those years that build a mans character. Certain struggles, Patricia, that every man needs to go through to find out what it means to really be a man. ” I began to think about this piece of wisdom, and I began to agree. Now some people know exactly what they want to do in life , and they do it, but for the majority of us, it isn’t that simple. This brought my thought process to another movie i had seen lately.

The lego movie, a great movie by all accounts, made me think of another avenue our lives could take. A totalitarian system in which every aspect is controlled. And like the hero emmet, we follow the instructions on how to be happy and how to live our lives. But the human psyche would not be compatible with this system, as we strive to be better and in the process make lots of mistakes. Plus the theme song “everything is awesome” also brought a smile to my face and is surprisingly catchy ! This is human nature and although I have made this mistakes as a young human being , I believe they will stand to me later in life. My blogs will not all be about my human experiences, but i shared this one in the hope that someone else may learn from my experiences and realise that it is not the end of the world if you are perhaps a little bit older, because hopefully you are a little bit wiser also. 🙂 Also there s link here on a a helpful book ! just a way to hopefully get me back to college I would be very thankful !  <a href=”http://499a27w6ukfp872ev7gc8mx92s.hop.clickbank.net/&#8221; target=”_top”>Click Here!</a>Thanks for reading friends.